Dept. of Minor Observations
A repository of bulletins, field reports, working papers, and notices concerning small thoughts, odd details, internet archaeology, abandoned drafts, and gentle critiques of modern digital culture. Items are classified, stamped, and filed accordingly.
On the saved document that is not the most recent version
At some point between version three and the final submission, you
saved over the wrong file. The changes made in the last two hours are
in a document called "final_v2_ACTUAL_revised_USE_THIS.docx" which
does not currently exist.
The Department is not recording your failure. It is recording a near-
universal experience. The naming of versions is a problem that has
been solved, many times, by version control software, and the
solution has been available for decades, and yet the problem still persists
regardless, because the solution requires a habit while the problem
does not.
The Department notes that many solved problems remain unsolved in
practice, and that the distance between a solution existing and a
solution being used is one of the greatest gaps in modern life.
On instructions that assume a previous step was completed
Step four of many instruction manuals, help documents, and setup
guides assumes that step three was successfully completed. Step three
assumed the same of step two. Step two assumed that the person has already arrived with
the preconditions that the instructions did not think to specify because,
to the person who wrote them, those conditions were simply the world around them.
The gap is not negligence. It is the gap between already knowing how to do
something and knowing what it is like to not know how to do something.
These are different cognitive positions, and moving between them is much
harder than it appears.
The Department notes this is always a problem in the transfer of
knowledge, and is not confined to instruction manuals. And we leave the
observation there.
On the phrase "We value your privacy"
The sentence "we value your privacy" appears at the top of documents
whose entire purpose is to describe the circumstances under which
a respect for privacy will not apply. It is, in this sense, a form of valediction rather
than a policy — a last farewell note to the thing it claims to protect.
The Department has noted that no organisation has ever published a
document beginning "we do not particularly value your privacy". The
absence of this kind of document is, in itself, informative.
Notice on the use of the word "Journey"
The Department formally registers its observations on the word "journey"
in its application to the act of purchasing software, completing an onboarding
form or selecting a subscription tier.
A journey implies distance, difficulty and a possibility of never
returning. The Department does not dispute that enterprise procurement
can be difficult. It disputes that difficulty of this kind constitutes
a journey in any useful meaningful sense of the word.
The Department suggests "procedure", "process," "experience," and, where
appropriate, "ordeal."
Field Report: The Out-of-Office reply as a literary genre
The out-of-office reply has developed into a minor literary form with
remarkable conventions. It opens with an acknowledgement of
personal absence. It specifies a return date. It names a colleague for urgent
matters. It closes with either nothing or the slightest warmth.
Variation within the form is limited but revealing. The early-return
gamble ("or sooner"). The geographical coverage caveat ("limited access to email").
The aspirational note of hope ("I look forward to responding on my return,"
written by a person who is not likely to be looking forward to this).
Most interesting is the case where the return date has passed and the
reply remains activated. The message continues to describe an absence that
has presumably ended. The possibilities for its continued use give rise to multiple speculations. The author is probably present but the message seems to insists otherwise. The Department offers no further recommendations. It is just interesting.
On things that are still the same website
A partial inventory of websites that have been "completely redesigned"
and remain, in all essential respects, the same website.
The site that moved its navigation from the top to the left and called
this a significant transformation. The site that replaced its blue buttons with
slightly darker blue buttons and announced a new era in transparency. The site that
enlarged its hero image and described this as a shift in strategic
direction.
The Department is not opposed to redesign. It is welcomed. The Department is noting
that the announcement of redesign often precedes the redesign itself
by a considerable interval, and sometimes an announcement replaces the need for a redesign entirely.
On the persistence of the "Any Key"
The instruction "press any key to continue" was common in software of
the 1980s and 1990s. The "any key" does not exist as a labelled key on
any keyboard produced before or since.
The instruction persisted for decades. People would press Enter, or Space,
or sometimes A, having decided that A was close enough to "any." The
instruction was technically correct and practically confusing and
nobody changed it because it worked.
The Department notes this as a case study in interface language that
is accurate without being in any way helpful, and wonders how many such cases
remain in current production systems, unexamined because they also,
broadly, work.